3 Years Ago Doctors Dropped a Bomb

 

Three years ago today we heard words you never expect to hear at an ultrasound, "There's something wrong with your baby."  Three years ago we began a roller coaster of research and doctors and ultrasounds.  Within a week we had met with specialists who explained that our yet to be born son's spinal cord was sticking outside of his body (spina bifida), that it was just a matter of time before his brain developed too much fluid (hydrocephalus), that both his feet were bent and twisted (clubfeet).  Words like disabled, paralyzed, wheelchair, permanent brain damage, and abortion were thrown at us through the cloud of our grief and worry.  "I'm sorry," was repeated over and over by doctor after nurse after surgeon. 

I process things by writing and started this blog right away, keeping it private at first.  We began searching out a community of individuals who had traveled this path before us and discovered that few, if any, had blogged about the journey until their child was a few years old.  I resolved through my tears that I would share our ups, downs, fears, joys, and life online.  I had already been blogging for years about our family's homeschooling journey and beginning another blog was easy and familiar. It was one of the few familiar things during that time.

There were ups and downs during the rest of the pregnancy but an underlying feeling of peace.  We knew that God had created Mason and that this was no surprise to Him.  We loved and looked forward to holding our son and getting to know his personality.

 

Mason is now 2 years and 7 months old.  Our family has dived deep into the world of medical needs.  There have been surgeries, fourteen of them, mostly on his brain, but also some on back, legs, and even bottom.  We navigate the waters of appointments and medical equipment and insurance companies.  Some of the things we heard those very first days after diagnosis have come to pass but many more have not. 

You can look at the bare facts - paralyzed, wheelchair, disabled, will never walk, cannot live without the lifesaving brain shunt that has failed six times already, a lifetime of surgeries ahead.  Those paint a picture in gray that seems dark and sad and hopeless.  It is an incomplete picture, woefully inaccurate.

 

As you get to know my son Mason you begin to see a vibrant world painted with colors - joyful, smart, bossy, loving, determined, alive, thriving.  Mason is a child full of personality, a child who just happens to have some physical challenges.  Yes, they will shape him.  They have shaped our whole family to be more aware, more patient, more in awe of God's creation.  Mason tackles life head first, finding a way to do what he wants, painting his picture in broad strokes of color - especially orange.  He loves orange!

 

If doctors paint a grim, gray picture of your unborn child's life with Spina Bifida or other diagnosies - hold on to hope.  God's picture is so much brighter and awe-inspiring.  Your child is not broken, a mistake, an accident.  They are God's creation lovingly made.  He has a plan and a purpose for your child.  There will be hills and valleys along the way.  It will be the adventure of a lifetime!