An online friend of mine asked how we’re doing and as I typed my answer I decided to share some of it here because it touches on the emotions and growth we’re seeing in our family through this situation. We've learned a lot in a short amount of time and are trying to process it all, but so much of Mason's diagnosis involves "wait and see" for just what will be affected and to what degree.
It has been a wonderful experience for our family because our children are seeing that prayer can be specific, not just the general "little kid" prayers of thank you for this day, etc. It is humbling to hear my 3 year old pray 'that baby Mason will have time to grow in mommy's tummy' or my 10 year old to ask God's wisdom to guide the doctors who will take care of Mason.
It's also been a great reminder of what matters most. So many times before during a pregnancy I've said "I don't care what the baby is, just so long as it's healthy." Admit it, you’ve said it too, haven’t you? Now that we're faced with a baby who is not healthy I see just how limited my view was. We're thrilled to have Mason and it doesn't matter that he'll be bringing health issues out of the womb. His life is precious, healthy, sick, or otherwise.
I've also had several miscarriages before and while I thought I had treasured each moment of pregnancy, now I appreciate more each little nudge and movement, something I took for granted before. There is a difference in how much movement I'm feeling because Mason's legs are not fully functional, so even the little flutters are something to celebrate and pause what I'm doing to just enjoy.
God has been preparing us for this for a long time. I knew months and months ago, before I was pregnant, that something difficult was coming. We've been pushed to simplify, to pull back from activities like the Homeschool Crew and my job working for The Old Schoolhouse, so many things. And for so long I didn't know why. Then I got pregnant and thought I understood - life was going to be busy with a new baby when the 6th baby was just turning 1. Now I see even more is coming with Mason’s medical needs.
We understand so little! We have such a limited perspective, don't we? I'm sure there is so much I don't understand yet, so much I don't even see coming. I'm trying to focus on relationships and let God take care of the rest. It’s a daily, sometimes hourly process. It’s messy. But God is there giving us peace every step of the way.